Most people think I’m a very confident person, as well as confident speaker. I’m comfortable on the stage and speaking to groups of 10 or 1,000. I look confident and for the most part I AM confident.
Do you have a picture of what confidence looks like? Do you see it in others but not yourself? Do you think confidence has to look a certain way for you to have it? Do you need a red cape or special underwear?
I’m asking these questions, because I now see and feel confidence in a different way after a very interesting experience.
Before, when I thought of confidence I imagined standing tall and chest slightly puffed out – not to the extent of being arrogant and showing off, and yet……perhaps a little.
This week I had the opportunity, with hypnosis (with Wendy MacDonald of Spectrum Solutionz) to explore my inner self. I’m no stranger to looking within (it’s what I help other people do), and it was time for me to look more deeply….. and I was surprise what I found.
Before we even started, just by talking I became aware of a part of me that was not so confident, in fact, I was seriously lacking.
With a trip into my imagination, I could see the relationship of my inner confidence (inner support) to a structural anomaly in my spine that I was born with and that led to me having stress fractures in my back in my teens from doing gymnastics.
My inner support was literally broken, so I had to be propped up from the outside – I have had screws and dacron (synthetic) in my lower back since 1993. That didn’t stop me from playing high-level volleyball and going to the Olympics in 2000. I considered it so insignificant (even though I regularly experience back pain), that I don’t even mention it in my motivational talks.
So, in my inner exploration, I realized that at this deep level, I felt incomplete and the classic feeling of not being ‘enough’.
On this journey, I was able to realize the perfection in my imperfection, something I always encourage clients to do, and I immediately felt strengthened – from within.
This has given me a new perspective on confidence.
It’s a quiet and inner knowing – that doesn’t need any strutting, chest puffing or erect stance. It’s knowing inside that you have everything you need to achieve what you want.
This is the kind of confidence that will help you speak out – an inner knowing that what you have to say is important, or can help at least one person that you speak to. An inner confidence that you know you’re stuff, you are the expert.
It may not be obvious, but people will know when you have that inner confidence. It is an energy that surrounds you and it is authentic.
What do you need to realize to raise your inner confidence? What weakness within do you need to gain strength from?
Please share your experience and thoughts around confidence in comments below.