This came up while I was chatting with friends a few weeks ago. Someone mentioned the challenge of speaking up within a relationship, especially when there was conflict.
Now this was something I could relate to, because I used to avoid creating conflict with loved ones also. I still find it challenging, but I also know that being quiet doesn’t serve anyone.
How I learned to overcome this challenge was by daring to stumble.
Daring to not get it right – to just blurt out that I wasn’t happy with the situation. By taking the first leap and starting the conversation, the right words and ideas take shape.
A big mistake people make is not speaking up or not taking a chance on doing something because they fear getting it wrong. Some people think that one has to get it perfectly right from the very start. WRONG!
It will never be perfect if you don’t take that first step.
When it comes to speaking, this can stop people saying yes to an opportunity to speak – whether it be social or formal, 10 minutes or an hour.
Here’s the thing – you do not have to know what you will speak about before you say YES.
When you say YES to speaking, you will then be able to work out what you want to say. By saying YES, a deadline is created with the date by which you must be prepared by. Your brain works well to deadlines and will provide you with the necessary material to present. Trust me.
I will usually create my own deadline for a week to a few days in advance of the speaking engagement – so that I know I have time to practice as well.
Sometimes you don’t have time to prepare – you get put on the spot and are asked to speak right now. How would you respond?
This happened to my friend and host of Pono Radio, Randy Zachary, at a recent Rotary function – when the original speaker was unable to make it. He said YES to the opportunity, and the right words came to him to speak for a whole 15 minutes.
He told me he didn’t have time to be nervous, and he felt had given one of his best talks.
There comes a time when you need to trust that you know your stuff, and people need to hear it.
….and then, Dare to Stumble. Be okay with not being perfect, with getting it wrong – especially if it’s your first time speaking, or if like my friend Randy, you have been put on the spot.
If you have time to prepare, then use that time wisely and prepare as much as you can, including practice. And when it comes time to speak, then just do it.
Where else in life are you waiting for things to be perfect before diving in?
- Speaking up?
- Creating a plan?
- Trying something new?
- Writing a blog?
- Writing a book?
Just take the first step – however small, and dare to stumble.
The more you dare to stumble, the more you will succeed. It’s the act of “failing forward” – all successful people have done it, so now it’s your turn.
Please share with readers your most successful or memorable stumble.