Question: When did you decide that you can’t speak out loud and clear YOUR truth and that it’s not OK to be your authentic self while doing it?
Perhaps you didn’t decide ALL those things but is there something in that statement that resonates with you?
You might even think I’m not talking about you …. and yet, when you go to speak – you have a lump or a tickle in your throat, or you freeze or even find yourself suffering from verbal diarrhoea.
If you are not 100% comfortable speaking out in any forum, then chances are your unconscious thoughts are holding you back.
In talking to clients and potential clients I am hearing some common themes in thought patterns that are holding them back from speaking and communicating effectively.
The number one thing is that everyone had an experience is their early childhood life – often in those formative years around 7 years of age – that led them to make a judgement about whether it was okay for them to speak up or not.
These judgements become beliefs that define the one’s future experiences around speaking.
Here are some examples of judgements/beliefs I have heard most recently:
- No-one believes me anyway (so why speak…)
- No-one ever listens to what I have to say.
- If I speak about myself it means I think I’m better than others (and that is bad.)
- I’m always wrong
- If I speak up I will get hurt (or shut down, or laughed at….)
The reason I am sharing them here is that they might trigger something for you. They might help you to identify what it is that is stopping you from speaking clearly, effectively and confidently.
These are judgements you made as a young child, and you are letting this run your life now. Seriously. The decisions you made as a 5 or 7 year old is how you are choosing to experience life now.
That child that got hurt in some way when speaking up, is scared the same thing will happen again.
But you know now that can’t happen, don’t you! That was then, and this is now.
You’ve grown up and it’s time to speak out. It’s OK that you do. You MUST!
This one judgement or belief about speaking can show up in other areas of your life. It is said that how you do one thing, is how you do everything. It could be affecting your ability to
- Speak 1-on-1 with someone,
- Sell yourself and your services
- Stand up for yourself or to give your opinion
- Communicate easily with confidence
- Progress in your career
- Ask to be paid well for what you do
- Have intimate relationships based on honest communication ……….and more.
As an entrepreneur, the benefit of speaking to an audience is to market your business and gain clients.
The benefits of speaking up (regardless of your audience) are countless when it frees you up to share your truth, your opinion and your message.
Get in touch with what’s holding you back from speaking and communicating and watch your self and business grow.
What’s in your way? Please share your experience around speaking up.