How to “Build a Bridge AND Get Over it”

“Be positive!”, “Snap out of it.” – sage advice when you are feeling down or simply ‘crappy’.  Things are not quite turning out as you like, or you have just received terrible news.

Sometimes people think that because I have done so much work and study on the ‘mindset’ that I might never have my negative or vulnerable moments.  Wrong.  There are always new challenges and problems and the key is how we handle those challenges.

I was watching a TV program about another new disease or condition and it made me consider this – as long as medicine discovers cures for current diseases, there will always be something new to challenge the medical field.  The challenges keep getting tougher because the human race is getting smarter and more technologically advanced.

It’s interesting how the universe provides for our growth.  So how do you snap out of it?

Back to my initial point – I was thinking about a recent incident where I discovered that my wallet was missing.  I was really annoyed because I had been working on systems that this would never happen to me again, and yet it was missing.  I won’t go into the details, because my point is how I changed my thinking and energy around this.

My annoyance and frustration caused me to contract energetically and where do you think my focus was?  On how it was missing, and how I might need to cancel credit cards and get a new green card, etc.  My husband tried to get me to ‘shake it out’, ‘cheer up’ – and that frustrated me even more.

So what did work for me?

I took a deep breath and started to think about how I wanted it to be.  What did I want?  I imagined my wallet being temporarily misplaced and that the location would come to me as I relaxed.  I felt gratitude for finding my wallet and as I thought these thoughts, and felt these feelings, I relaxed and EXPANDED my energy.

This was most fortunate because by this time we were on our way to visit friends for dinner and I wanted to be good company.

I was able to relax the rest of the night, and on my way home I got curious whether the wallet had slipped beside my seat in the other car.  I checked it out when I got home and there it was.  More feelings of gratitude.

So, next time you are feeling negative and someone tells you to ‘be positive’, take one or all three of these steps to help you build the bridge and get over it.

  1. Think about how you want it to be – what is your ideal solution?  Healthy instead of ill; having money instead of being unable to afford it; losing weight instead of feeling fat; connecting with someone instead of feeling lonely; etc.
  2. Look for the lesson – what is there to learn from the situation that when you learn it, will help to avoid the situation again in the future.  For me, the lesson was in the process and in slowing down and listening to my intuition.  If you’re first response to consider the lesson is “I don’t know,” then just pretend that if there was a lesson in this – what would that be??
  3. Appreciate – focus on what IS good and appreciate your desired outcome AS IF it is a foregone conclusion.

Being positive is not about ignoring what is going wrong.  It’s not about putting on a happy face (with gritted teeth) and saying everything is great – and all along believing it’s not.  That takes too much energy and can be draining.

The three steps mentioned will feel easy and will energise you in a positive and expansive way and will help to attract the results and experiences you do want.

If you want some help in overcoming your challenges and living with the expansive energy that will attract your heart’s desires, go to