If you have read much of my work you will have noticed that I love to learn and look for lessons in any situation. There’s a teacher in everything and everyone, and today’s teacher is Jake, my adorable and very huggable Labrador.Jake is a bundle of love and he can never get enough petting, attention and of course, food. And he gets it in spades, because he gives so much. You can just feel the love oozing out of him and his ever wagging tail.
Now I mention this in particular because we have another dog, Kai, who we also love very much and yet we don’t dish out so much loving to. Kai is of a different nature, and loves a good rub on her back but, to be honest, it feels like a one-way love. You don’t feel the same affection coming from Kai, and so I quickly tire of rubbing her back.
When I first joined the family, my husband with his two dogs, I would see how Steven would favour Jake and give him much more attention than Kai. I thought that most unfair at the time, thinking you shouldn’t play favourites.
4 years later I understand how that happens. It’s perfectly natural based on the law:
Whatever you give out, you receive back tenfold.
Jake was always giving so much love you couldn’t help but return it.
It made me think about human relationships – both personal and business. Perhaps you know people that are yearning to be loved or even liked, and keep waiting for people to come to them. They keep waiting for invitations or friends to call – but because they want to get without giving, they end up repelling the very thing they want.
I know I went through this at a very low point in my life, after a failed relationship. I spent months feeling sorry for myself and focusing on how bad things were and how lonely I was. No-one loved me, friends didn’t call me……and I don’t blame them now looking back. I wasn’t the greatest of company.
Things didn’t change until I started becoming a better friend, a person that people wanted to be around. I started reaching out and became loving.
Think about friends you have rejected or let go of because the ‘love’ was a one-way street.
The very thing can happen in business where you want referrals or clients and yet you are not giving or serving in any way.
So think about it. What are you giving out? If you consider that what is coming back at you is a reflection of what you are giving, is it time for a change?
Where in your life could you give a little more – Value? Love? Respect? Recognition?
(On a side note, there are different ways to show love, and it could be that Kai speaks a different love language, but I won’t go off on that. I only mention it because someone might think, “I’m giving all this love to my partner and I’m not seeing it back.” There’s a great book on this called Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.”)