Do you feel a lot of negative emotion for things that happened to you in your past? Are you angry, hurt or chronically disappointed? It can be easy to hold onto stuff and baggage from the past because you think it’s easier that way, or that you are meant to. Perhaps you are not even aware of what you are holding on to.
I’ve spoken to many people, friends and clients, that hate to let go of negative feelings for another person because it would mean that that person ‘gets away’ with hurting them. We have this belief that ‘someone has to pay’ and the reality is that with this attitude, the person doing the ‘paying’ is you – the one who refuses to let go.
It reminds me of a story of the 2 monks on a journey, and upon coming upon a river with a heavy current, the older monk offers to help a lady across to the other side, carrying her. The young monk is aghast that his superior would touch, let alone carry a woman and he stewed over this for the hours that followed as they continued on their journey. Finally, the young monk could not contain it any longer, and he questioned the older monk “How could he have done that!” The older monk was surprised and told the young monk that he had put the lady down and released her load hours ago and put the question back to his young companion – why was HE still carrying it?
The only person you hurt when you hold onto anger, to hurt is yourself – the anguish and suffering within can cause, not only negative emotion, but often leads to illness and chronic disease.
Your champion mind is able to forgive and let go by understanding that the other person was doing the best they could with limited resources. Sometimes it looks like people hurt with intention – but I don’t believe anyone is inherently evil. I believe everyone desires to belong and to be loved, and that sometimes that comes across in strange ways. Sometime this causes people to act out, to defend themselves, to protect their own ego.
If you are holding onto anger and pain for something someone did to you recently or a long time ago in your childhood, the best way forward is to seek to understand. To see things from a different perspective to that of your own. To learn what may have been the gift in the situation.
We often become stronger through our challenge, strengths we wouldn’t have without the challenge. How do we learn forgiveness, without something terrible to forgive? How do we learn trust, without being challenged to trust the unknown? How do we learn patience, without being driven crazy by setbacks?
What is your big lesson in life? Be curious and seek out a higher reason to the challenges in your life and see how you start to grow and expand in even greater ways.
It doesn’t mean you will never be angry or hurt again. It does mean you can let go of the chronic negative feelings that you have been holding onto all your life. Let go of that and you are free to be in the moment, and to feel what is appropriate now.
Please share your thoughts on letting go of the past.