Have you ever noticed that whenever you have a problem that there is a common denominator – you! Whether you have a problem with a situation or with another person it’s time to really think about how you are causing the problem (or challenge) in your life.
Many problems seem very real and they might even feel like you have no control over what to do, but just imagine if you did. Imagine if you were making choices or decisions that were at least contributing to the problem.
Thinking about an area in your life right now that is causing you angst – it is likely that you have let go of responsibility and are pointing the finger or blaming something or someone for your problem, or at least you have a list of excuses.
In fact, a list of excuses can be a good place to start when starting to overcome your problems. It helps you to be honest about what is causing you to be stuck, and to realise that these excuses are all in your own mind. You are creating the problem through your own thinking, your own habits and your choices.
Even when you have issue with another person, it is your thoughts or expectations about that person, and how they reflect on you that is causing you to think you have a problem.
Notice the key word ‘think’ – our problems are in our imagination, and so let us use our imaginations to come up with a solution. Einstein said “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
There are 3 question that can help you overcome your problems.
1. How am I creating this? – the question presupposes that you are responsible for the problem, and opens you up to getting an answer, especially if you are curious.
2. What can I learn from this? – I believe that some challenges are there to learn something, to strengthen oneself. If there was something to learn, what would it be? Could there be something to learn about saying no, about handling rejection, or being okay with making ‘unpopular’ decisions, etc, etc.
3. How can I overcome the problem? Or how can I reach my desired outcome?
Problem solving is a matter of looking for solutions and this can be done by asking ‘how can I…”. If you find yourself frequently saying “I can’t…..” then you are shutting yourself off from any solution. Open yourself up to being the solution for the challenges in your life and realise that you do have the answers.
By stepping up and taking responsibility you are empowered to make the changes you desire, have the relationships you want and achieve the success you deserve.
Please share your views on overcoming your problems.