Stand By Me

If you want to share your brilliance then you have big dreams and a mission to share with the world.  Most successful entrepreneurs have support of a team, and one your most valuable team-mates can be your partner.  But what if your partner is not on the same page with you?

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One of the more common issues I encounter with clients is how to cope when their partner is not so supportive of their dreams, their business or even in their personal growth.

It can create a lot of problems for the relationship and for the individual who, through seeking personal development, is eager to continue to learn and grow.

I remember when I first started attending live seminars in 2006.  My then boyfriend was very antagonistic to the seminars and the speakers leading them.  He really hated learning, even hated flip charts…and ironically, he was a 7th grade teacher.

I didn’t let that stop me.  I figured I that I would show him (in a positive way) by example, and hopefully inspire him to follow a similar path….eventually.  Gandhi has said “Be the change within” and I continued in this vain, hoping that he might change.

I guess, he was hoping I might change too – back to the old ways.

I remember the week after breaking up with him being the most productive week ever.  It was like I had let go of a ball and chain that had been dragging me back, and I was catapulted into a new life and freedom.

I probably should have done it about 3 months sooner, but sticking it out really enabled me to learn a lot and to know that it was absolutely the best solution for us both.

Now, I never advise clients to break up with un-supportive partners because ‘unsupportive’ is a perception that needs to be explored further.

It depends on what we are looking to find.

I can look at my own wonderful partner and focus on actions that suggest he does not support me, and consider him to be unsupportive.  I could really focus on those actions, create a story about them along the lines of

‘he rolled his eyes and that means he thinks I’m silly for doing this business, or trying to speak, and he wishes that I would just stay home.  He didn’t come to the seminar with me because he hates to learn, and thinks I’m crazy for wanting to learn……”

We see what we want to see, and we place meaning on a person’s actions that are completely in our own mind.

My suggestion is

  1. Always to look for how the partner IS supporting you, however little that might be.  It is said that what you appreciate appreciates, and so focus on what you do want – the support, and even do the same for Love, Respect ….or other traits you look for from your partner, or even a friend.
    At those moments of support, be sure to express thanks – either verbally to him/her; within in prayer, or in your gratitude journal.
  2. Be your own best support – believe in yourself, your dreams and your brilliance and be that change.  Most of all you must be true to yourself and your dreams.  If you hold back to maintain a relationship, then perhaps the relationship is not worth saving.  You will be surprised when you follow your heart, how your partner will step up.  In a loving relationship, your partner wants you to be happy.
  3. Get the support you need – if it’s not coming from your partner, friends or family, find new friends and find a coach & mentor who will support and encourage you to follow your dreams.   You can’t do it alone.  It’s amazing what a little cheering and encouragement, as well as guidance and accountability, can do to keep you moving forward.  When times are a little tough, you need someone on your side to give you a helping hand back up.

Yes, it’s great to have a supportive partner that completely works with you to realise your dreams and business success.  But if that’s not possible, then work with what you do have.  Often the qualities of a partner that most annoy you are the very qualities you need to propel you toward success.  Just something for you to think about.

Where do you get your support from?

1 reply to Stand By Me

  1. I love this blog, always great content

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